Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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