Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
