i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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