Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
