i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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