Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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