Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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