was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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