He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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