Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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