So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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