the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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