I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
