It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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