No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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