I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize