I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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