mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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