More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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