Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
