how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
