you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
