clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
