So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
