dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
