Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
