People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
