i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it's like iHOP with fire
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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