You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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