Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
