Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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