someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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