we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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