Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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