He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
smell my finger.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
pop tarts are not kleenex
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize