hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize