Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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