she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
