Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
