So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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