wanna go halves on a baby?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
