and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
