my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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