I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
