You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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