too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
