I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
