just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
