We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
