hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize