My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
