dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
