she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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