She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
