just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
