Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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