no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
