You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize