I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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