Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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