It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
