So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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