i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
