i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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