How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
