Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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